News Bulletin, June 13, 2013
The US Supreme Court, following a Romney electoral win (with re-count) to the White House, has ruled on a controversial case affirming that only corporations are in the future to be regarded as "persons" for electoral purposes.. People are no longer defined as being in the "person" category and so may no longer vote as individuals. According to the ruling only corporations may vote, and their vote will be weighted in proportion to the number of non-union employees they support with salaries and wages. The court has decided that this is the most democratic way to cast ballots since individuals may not be well-informed in the emerging world of social media. Corporations may, but are not required to issue vouchers to their employees which can be exchanged for internal corporate ballots to be submitted for internal corporate counts and used as guidance to corporate boards and CEO's in deciding summary official votes. The Court in its decision pointed out that unionized workers are also entitled to receive and submit vouchers to their unions whose officers are also authorized to file collective summary votes in federal and state elections. The Court noted that this arrangement ensures equal weight and balance between unionized and non-unionized workers and thus does not violate the one person/one vote precedents established within Constitutional law. This decision, the Court noted, affirms and extends the liberties added to the US voting process by the 2010 Citizens United v. Federal Elections Commission decision. The majority summation was written by Romney's first SCOTUS appointment, Justice John Yoo, and confirmed in a 7 to 2 decision.
(SATIRE-- but only if Obama wins, so vote and GOTV!)